Visiting Hours
by Selene Illusinia
Summary: [Dogs are Love] Skye goes to the prison Ward's being held in to ask him a question. It becomes a weekly endeavor. Eventually, the whole team joins in. Coulson just doesn't ask. Prelude to Dog Naps. Pre Skye/Grant Ward
1. Chapter 1

The first visit, she froze and couldn't go on.

Off-white, ugly cream walls- little more than poorly painted cinder blocks- rose around Skye as she approached the cell: her target. But she couldn't do it, couldn't face him. She froze halfway down the hall, just out of sight of the caged man she'd helped put away.

Ward.

She wanted to talk with him. There were so many questions left unanswered by his betrayal, she just wanted some closure. And yet, she couldn't move forward. Couldn't take the last ten steps towards the bars and their captive. There were no other cells immediately around; it was a safety thing. Men like Ward were considered dangerous. Hell, five guards had offered to escort her over to his cell. She'd only refused because she believes (really believes) he wouldn't hurt her.

But all the same, her feet wouldn't carry her forward to his cell. She knew it was because she didn't want to see him this way- trapped inside a cage. Yes, he'd done bad things. Yes, he deserved it. But he's still Ward and some part of her couldn't shake that. Part of her still woke up some mornings and, for just a brief second, groaned about how many push-ups he was going to make her do that day.

So for the first visit, she just stood in the middle of the hallway for twenty minutes, out of sight, listening to the sounds of her former SO moving around his cell.

The second time she came back, she made it all the way to his cell.

He was seated inside when she stopped just beyond the bars, reading a tattered book the she vaguely recognized as Matterhorne. It looked identical to his copy, beaten and clearly well read. Likely frequently, too. A few other books were stacked around the cell as well- apparently he'd bribed someone into smuggling him things. It was no where near his original collection though.

"Come to see the caged monster?" Ward's bitter voice broke into her thoughts like a sledgehammer and, for a second, she forgot why she'd come. He was glaring at her over the top of his book, hurt and anger swirling with something else. Pain, maybe? Betrayal? "Come to see if I broke? Or are you here to pity me?"

She shook her head slowly, closing her eyes against his words. He was angry, even though he had no right to be. He'd betrayed them; they were the only ones with the right to be angry. "No. I came to ask why you did it. You never told me."

"You didn't want to know," reminded Ward with a scowl, rolling from his bunk and approaching the bars like a predator on the prowl. His eyes flashed, dangerous in the harsh light of the prison.

Skye didn't move, just watched silently as he approached her. Months ago, she might have backed away. Now? She just let him approach. Nothing he said at this point could be worse than anything he'd already said or done. "Well, now I do want to know and you owe me at least this much. Why did you join Hydra?"

Reaching the bars, the fingers of one hand curled around the hard metal as he stood there, staring at her. Any previous expression he'd been wearing had fallen away at her words, leaving him a blank slate and offering Skye no clue as to what he was thinking. It was eerie, seeing that blank, closed off look again. It had been so long since he'd given her that look, it stung a little now in the face of everything he'd done. Then again, she couldn't really talk; she'd betrayed the team too, just not as badly.

For a long moment, he didn't respond, didn't say a word or offer an explanation. He just stared at her with an unreadable expression; he was silent for so long, she thought he wasn't going to answer. Then, he leaned the full weight of his body against the hand wrapped around the bars and rubbed his eyes with his free hand. "Garrett." Those chocolate brown orbs rose to catch hers as his hand fell away, locking her under his stare. "I owed him everything. He gave me a chance, took me in. He turned me into a man, someone strong enough to protect the people who needed protecting."

His words made Skye momentarily see red. What about Fitz and Simmons? Didn't they need protecting? "And who were you protecting from Fitz and Simmons? They were your friends."

"Garrett," stated Ward quietly. His free hand tightened into a fist, like he wanted to punch someone or something. His eyes fell to the fist, brow furrowing like he couldn't figure out why he was clenching it. "Fitz fried Garrett; it nearly killed him."

"So you nearly killed them?" snapped Skye angrily, shaking her head. Ward's fist clenched further and Skye took a deep breath. No, anger wouldn't help. She needed to be calm, otherwise she wouldn't be able to think clearly. And if she couldn't think clearly, she couldn't ask the questions she needed to.

"Yes," growled Ward, lightly hitting the bars of his cell with the base of his clenched fist. "Because they tried to kill Garrett."

For a long moment, Skye stared at Ward as her mind ran through what he'd said. She already knew he'd dedicated himself to Garrett, but she couldn't figure out why. What had Garrett done to earn the devotion of a man like Ward? She refused to believe everything they'd seen on the Bus was a lie- that just wasn't possible. Besides, every good lie had a grain of truth. Of course, she could walk away right now. She owed Ward nothing at this point and everyone else had given up on him. Plus, he'd answered her question, what more could she really ask from him? Where all of her thoughts were heading would be painful for him, if her growing suspicions were correct. But she hadn't joined the Rising Tide to bury her head in the sand and not seek the full truth either. There was a lot to this story that made no sense, and she wanted to know the full thing.

"What did Garrett do to deserve your loyalty?" asked Skye quietly, shaking her head as she looked at her former teammate. "What could Garrett have possibly done to get you to give up your life?"

Again, Ward fell silent, like he couldn't find a way to explain his thoughts. His eyes fell as well, locking on some far-off point only he could see. When he spoke at last, it was the last words she'd ever expected. "He was my Coulson, Skye. The one who gave me a chance to grow and become more than I was."

"But it's more than that, Ward," argued Skye quietly. "I wouldn't blindly follow Coulson."

"Because Coulson didn't save you the way Garrett saved me," growled Ward, glaring at her. "I was _nothing_ before Garrett found me and got me out of that juvenile hell."

Skye stared, wide-eyed at Ward. He'd been in juve? Ward had been locked up in juvenile hall? "Why were you in juve?"

Ward blinked at her hard, eyes wide with surprise. It was like he didn't expect her to ask such a simple question. And in that horrifying moment, she realized no one probably ever had. If anyone even knew he'd been in there in the first place (and that was a big if given Garrett had brought Ward in and done who-knew-what to ensure he qualified).

Pushing away, Ward trailed half-way across his tiny cell. He kept his back to her, his shoulders slumped but his fists clenched. The anger at whatever memory was boiling beneath his skin had him completely on edge in seconds. "Because I tried to kill my brother by burning my parent's house down."

Well, okay, that was definitely juve worthy, but Skye could understand why. She understood why he would do that. Hell, if she went though even a fraction of what Ward had hinted at, she might have lit something on fire, too. Of course, it's possible he lied to her about his past, but she somehow doubted everything was a lie. There were times she could see things in his eyes before, and that haunted look can't be faked. It didn't matter how good Ward was.

"You were angry," stated Skye quietly. "I can't exactly blame you. I'd be angry, too."

"Furious," whispered Ward. He twitched for a second, the only clue Skye had before Ward's fist collided with the wall. It happened so fast, she barely recognized the sound of his flesh striking cement. Blood streaked the wall as he pulled his fist away, a dark red smear across bland white.

"Ward?" whispered Skye in horror. Her eyes locked onto his fist and the blood dripping from his open knuckles.

Ward's eyes fell to his fist, staring at the blood like it was a foreign substance. But when he looked back up at her and again met her eyes, his entire demeanor changed. It was like everything he'd been feeling- the rage and resentment- disappeared, returning to the mocking sneer he began with. "You know, I'm surprised Coulson let his little pet project visit the animals."

The change in topic almost gave Skye proverbial whiplash. For a moment, she wasn't sure what to say. Her eyes strayed to the side as she tried to come up with a valid response. Truthfully though, Coulson-

"He doesn't know you're here," stated Ward quietly, his grin turning sharp at the realization. Okay, yes, she'd snuck away to see him. She wanted answers, damnit, and Coulson wouldn't have exactly given her permission. "Wow, Coulson's little protégé, sneaking around behind his back. I think I rubbed off on you a little, Skye."

"I'm not stabbing people in the back," countered Skye, huffing a bit as she folded her arms across her chest. Well, not anymore she wasn't. "Besides, I didn't lie about where I was going, I just didn't tell him."

"Semantics," dismissed Ward, still smirking. Was he trying to drive her away? That had to be it. He was trying to make her leave. But why? Why would he want to drive her away? "You're breaking the rules, Skye."

"There's no rule that says I can't talk to you," stated Skye in confusion, her brow furrowing a little. She didn't think it was possible, but could Ward actually think that was a rule?

"I thought it was an unspoken one," replied Ward with a shrug. "Traitors aren't worth the time and all that."

Shaking her head, Skye ignored the barb. He was trying to pick another fight and move further away from the matter of his history. She wasn't going to let him. Whatever had happened to him, she wanted to know. Part of her needed to understand how he could do this to them. Thinking briefly back over everything he'd said, something caught in her mind. Ward had said Garrett saved him from Juvie, but if he was in Juvie, that would mean... "Ward, how old were you when you met Garrett?"

"How old were you when you quit school?" countered Ward with a scowl, his reluctance to answer written across his face.

He wanted to play that way? Fine. She could play that game. "I was 17. You know, I can just look up when you were released from Juvie."

"Except you wiped my identity," reminded Ward with a smirk. "There's nothing for you to look up."

Skye couldn't help the laugh that escaped her throat. Seriously, what did he think she did? Did he think she was stupid? "Yeah, I erased your identity in the public sphere. And I backed up all the files on an encrypted hard drive. You don't erase anything online without backing it up first. Data is power."

The startled fish look that momentarily slid over Ward's face was almost the best thing she'd ever seen. It was only topped (secretly) by his smile. Not that anyone would ever know that. Nope, she'd never admit that in a million years. "What's wrong Ward? You look surprised."

Ward gulped a bit, like he wasn't sure what to say. He still looked like someone had slapped him. He opened his mouth a few times to speak but nothing came out and Skye could see the questions and fears flashing behind his eyes. When he did finally force out words, his voice was rock stable but his tone belied his fears. "Everything?"

"Anything I deleted, I backed up," stated Skye simply. "And anything I didn't delete or missed is still out there for me to dig up."

Again, Ward gulped hard. She could see definite fear settling in now, and it was more than a little concerning. What was out there that he was so afraid of her finding? "Why? Why keep that information?"

Taking a deep breath, Skye took the risk and stepped closer to the prison cell. "Information is power. But beyond that, I'd need the original files if I ever wanted to restore everything. That doesn't mean I can't read it." Her eyes met Ward's, calm but concerned. "Ward, what's in those files that you're so afraid of me knowing?"

Ward's mouth thinned into a line, his eyes looking everywhere but at her. "Fifteen, alright? I was fifteen when Garrett saved me."

His sudden willingness to share his history with Garrett nearly threw Skye for a complete loop. Whatever was in those files had to be bad for him to react like that. Seriously, what could be worse than what he'd already done? Then, his words struck her. Fifteen. Garrett had access to Ward since he was fifteen. That was a very long time for a psychopath to have access to anyone, much less a kid from a bad home.

"Did you join SHIELD at fifteen?" questioned Skye, surprise likely apparent in her voice. Seriously, what else would Garrett have done with a fifteen year old boy?

Ward laughed, dry and just a little resentful. "Nope, I wasn't strong enough then. I was still sentimental, weak. I couldn't stand up for myself."

"Then what did Garrett do with you?" asked Skye, her stomach twisting into knots. Garrett had access, unmonitored access, to Ward. To a kid who'd been beaten badly enough he tried to set his own house on fire. People didn't start out like that, they grew into that because other people drove them to it and she doubted Garrett cared about that fact.

Ward frowned slightly, his eyes finally stopping to rest on some point along the wall of his cell. His face went a little vacant for a moment, his eyes losing focus. When he spoke again, his voice was distant and just a touch bitter. "He taught me how to survive, showed me that I was strong so long as there was someone to guide me." Anger rose in his voice, triggered by some memory Skye couldn't even begin to guess at. "I proved I wasn't weak in those damn woods, even if I did let Buddy go!"

The last part of his sentence was more of a shout, accompanied by the sound of his fit striking cement again. Skye took a rapid step back, startled, eyes darting from his face to his fist. The vehemence in his statement though told the story: whoever Buddy was, he'd been given orders he hadn't obeyed. The big question was: who was Buddy? It almost sounded like a dog. "Who's Buddy?" Then the first part of his statement kicked in. "Wait, the woods? What woods? Ward, what the hell did Garrett do to you!"

For a long moment, he didn't respond. No denials, no reaction. Just complete silence as he stared at his fist crumpled against the wall. The blood was worse now, the previous clots breaking with the force of the second strike.

"He left me in the woods." Ward's statement startled her focus back to his face, though his eyes were still locked on his fist. His words were so soft, it was like he choked on them. Like saying something, anything about Garrett was hard for him. "First it was six months with nothing to help me survive except Buddy. When he came back though, I had a camp set up. We'd survived, Buddy and I. We'd made it. And we continued to make it for five years. We survived on what we hunted, what we found in the woods. I proved to Garrett that I could survive. Proved to everyone I was a survivor and not a weak, sniveling coward!" His other fist hit the wall this time, beside the first. If he kept this up, he wasn't going to have a functioning hand left, damnit.

It made Skye want to gather him into her arms and just hold him. His frustration with the world, with how he was treated by Garrett, was so palpable it could choke them both. God, the woods? Garrett was more psychotic than she thought. Than any of them thought. If he was willing to isolate a kid in the woods, leave him there without a leg to stand on... "How did Garrett expect you to survive?"

"He wasn't sure I would," growled Ward quietly. "Wasn't sure I'd still be there when he got back. As if I had somewhere else to go. He broke me out of juvie; I didn't exactly have options."

Skye's stomach flipped at his words. Hard. Garrett had literally trapped Ward in a situation he knew Ward didn't have an out from and abandoned him in the middle of the woods with nothing but what she assumed was a dog and expected him to survive. It sounded like the beginning of a spy movie, when the bad guy tried to forcefully indoctrinate his human weapon by brain wash- oh. Oh god no. There's no way Garrett would... but he would. The man was psychotic enough to use psychological torture and intimidation against a kid. A kid from a broken family who wanted nothing more than to be accepted by someone,_ anyone_. She knew that feeling all too well.

"God Ward, why didn't you tell anyone?" whispered Skye. She understood why he didn't run- if he really had nothing there was no where for him to go. She'd at least had a few personal effects and a sketched out plan when she'd run. A little money she'd been squirreling away bit by bit. Something. It had been something. But she hadn't been running from juvie either. She had to be careful not to get picked up, but they didn't look hard for runaways. Prisoners though? That was a different matter.

"What was I supposed to say?" asked Ward quietly, stepping backward and letting his bloody fists drop to his sides. The bright red smears against the wall were a sharp contrast to the otherwise white-washed cinder blocks. As she watched, more blood dripped to the floor with soft thuds. It was like a leaky sink, but with blood instead of water. "Garrett was only making me stronger. He didn't do anything wrong. I was the one who screwed up, who couldn't obey orders."

"Ward, he left you to die," murmured Skye. Her eyes softened as she stepped closer to the bars. She wasn't supposed to, but she couldn't help it. The urge to comfort him was growing, even after all he'd done. No one deserved to be treated the way he had by Garrett, especially not a kid. "That's not teaching someone to be strong, that's torturing them. Did you even have contact with anyone else in the five years you were in the woods?"

"Just Garrett and Buddy," stated Ward with distant eyes. It was like their conversation was dragging him back to that place. And who knew, maybe that was a good thing. Maybe it would help him grow. She needed to talk to his shrink though (she knew he had one because there was no way he'd pass an entry psychological exam and showed no signs of any of this; she'd seen it when he didn't want her to after a few weeks on the Bus). "Buddy was great. Dogs are better than people."

It was such a Ward thing to say, Skye couldn't help the smile that tugged at the corner of her lips. Yes, it was sad that he believed that; no one should ever be so badly treated by anyone that they would rather deal with another species over their own. But she wasn't going to argue either- at least dogs were loyal. Confirming Buddy was a dog though made the whole matter of Garrett abandoning him in the woods alone all the worst. She might not be a psychologist, but she could recognize the signs of psychological torture when she saw them.

"Dogs are better," agreed Skye softly, shaking her head to try to clear the thoughts away. "What did you do about school? How'd you finish it?"

"Didn't," muttered Ward, shaking his head as his eyes remained locked on the wall. "Never asked to. Never liked school. Garrett gave me books to read when I had down time, stuff I'd need to know. And he got me into the Academy. They taught me anything I'd need in the field."

"And you never asked to go?" questioned Skye quietly. She could understand that; school had always seemed like a waste of time to her. She still believed it was. But Ward had always acted like her not having a high school education was somehow...bad. Maybe it was because he didn't have one either though.

"How could I?" muttered Ward, shaking his head slowly. "I was a fugitive from a juvie center. How Garrett made that go away, I don't even know. He literally broke me out of prison, then dropped me into the woods. I owed him and I didn't have any right to ask him for favors. Besides, what good had school ever done me?" His words were hollow and cold, bitter. Like he didn't actually believe what he was saying, but he didn't have any other answer either.

And then it hit her. One of her foster mothers had once said 'when people treat you with animosity and not kindness, they are jealous of you'. Skye didn't believe that was true, and she'd seen evidence to the contrary many, many times. But this time, she wasn't sure that wasn't the case.

She and Ward weren't that different in terms of where they'd come from: both were children without a stable home; adults who were never shown love as children the way they should have been. Two people who'd never known what family meant. Ward was beaten, she was abandoned. They both knew the pain of feeling unloved. But where Ward had been thrown into juvie, locked away and then taken by a psychopath to escape his family, she'd walked away. She'd told the world to go screw itself and gone her own way. On her own two feet and under her own power. She didn't have a high school education because she'd chosen not to get one; Ward didn't have one because he'd been kept from having one. Because someone else had decided he didn't need it. She wondered if he even knew that might be the cause of his early aggression, that on some level he might have been angry because she'd chosen to do something he wasn't given the option to.

"Did you want to go?" asked Skye, her voice quiet. It was a dangerous question to ask, one she wasn't sure he'd even have an answer for. But it was also a question he needed someone to ask. Garrett had driven it into his head that he owed the man something for saving him from his family, and now Ward needed someone to start asking him to think for himself. This was as good a chance as any.

"I didn't have a choice," repeated Ward, shaking his head as he finally broke eye contact with the wall. He didn't look back at her though, his eyes falling to her shoes as he continued. "You should go back to Coulson. He's not going to be happy if he finds out you were here. Master calls, you listen, right?"

Part of Skye bristled at his words. She wasn't a dog, damnit! The rational side of her mind though, the part that had begun working as soon as she'd started connecting the dots, saw the move for what it was: an attempt to lash out at her over his own pain and anger. She wasn't going to let him get to her either. "AC isn't my master. If I want to go somewhere, I'll go there. If you could change what happened, would you?"

"There's no point in asking that Skye," growled Ward, spinning in his cell so his back was to her. It was like he thought she'd leave if he turned away from her. "Garrett didn't let me go, so I didn't go. What I wanted didn't matter, it's never mattered. What everyone else wants, that's what I have to do. That's what matters. I don't get what I want."

"That's not what I'm asking, Ward," repeated Skye calmly, forcing her voice to remain even. "If you _had_ the choice, would you have wanted to go to school."

"I said, it doesn't matter!" snarled Ward, spinning on her suddenly like an animal and stalking towards the bar. "It doesn't matter that I would have liked the choice! It doesn't matter that I wished I could have done something normal for once! I doesn't matter because I can't change what happened!" He was shouting by the time he finished and she could hear guards running towards their position. She held her hand up though as soon as they came into sight, indicating she was fine.

Swallowing slightly to push away any nerves, Skye stepped towards the bars and tried to keep herself as calm as possible. "I know you can't change what happened then, Ward, but you might be able to change it no-"

"It doesn't matter," repeated Ward, his voice calm in that moment, sad and filled with resignation. He pushed away from the bars slowly, then turned and dropped onto his bunk. "You should leave Skye. The guards get antsy when I get mad and I don't want you to get in trouble."

Glancing down the hall, Skye could see what he meant. The guards did look particularly unhappy. She didn't pay them any mind though, waving her hand in a gesture of 'go away, I've got this' and stepped even closer to the bars. "I'll leave, Ward. But I'm going to come back."

"Don't bother," dismissed Ward, turning over on his bed so his back was to her. "You shouldn't bother with a useless man like me. I couldn't even save the man who gave me a chance. I'm not worth anyone's time."

His words broke her heart, but as she stared at his back, she knew repeating her promise wouldn't do any good. He'd just argue with her and if he got mad again, she was afraid the guards would do something rash. So she turned away from the cell, only pausing to add: "See you later, Grant." And she would. She would be back, regardless of if he wanted her to come back or not.

Then she was heading down the hall and towards the anxious looking guards. She'd have to assure them everything was alright before she left, just to make sure they didn't do something stupid. And she needed to speak with Ward's shrink. There was an idea forming in her head and it could be really good or really bad, she wasn't sure which, but she wanted to run it by his head-doctor anyway. After all, if this would help him gain some kind of footing in his life, it was worth doing.


	2. Chapter 2

Staring at the files in front of her, Skye tried to make sense of the notes she was seeing. Her chat with the shrink had resulted in a lot of roadblocks courtesy of doctor-patient privilege (she wasn't even aware that still existed in the prison system) and he wouldn't even tell her anything about Ward's treatment or therapy. About the only thing the man had said was that Skye should definitely visit again. Apparently, Ward had revealed more to her in one conversation than he had to the doctor in the past six months.

Annoyed by the lack of information, Skye's first stop when she reached the Playground again was to head into the computer room Coulson had set up for her. It was like a robot's wet dream come true: every piece of equipment she could ever want, ever, was literally shoved in the room. The computers were all high end, the servers tightly secured. Sadly, she also found the room overwhelming so she barely used it. What she needed today, however, was the large ass bank of monitors set up along one of the walls. It held a lot more surface area than her beat up laptop and she'd need it to find the files she was after.

It wasn't that the files were particularly large, it was more the sheer number. When she'd erased their histories, all she'd had time to do was wipe the public records and some of the government ones as well. Her search hadn't been as...exhaustive as she would have liked, but it got most of the files out of the way. Anything she hadn't found would take a lot more digging to pull up. And when she'd erased everything, she hadn't had the time to sort it all. So now she had a flash drive full of files, all pertaining to seven different people, and she needed only the files dealing with one. And a large number of those files were SHIELD ones, to boot. Thankfully, the Playground's servers contained copies of all files originally held on all SHIELD servers. That coupled with the truly phenomenal data leak released by Agent Natasha Romanoff (who Skye was going to shake the hand of/hug if she ever met her because damn that was an impressive move), she had pretty much everything available digitally on record. Of course, she was going to make phone calls to/hack the necessary agencies once she had a little more information about where Ward had grown up and a general time line of his life; running a second, more exhaustive search of Ward's history was a must.

Digging through Ward's past like this felt like a massive violation of his privacy, but the reality was that she was ultimately doing this to help him. Before today, she'd only wanted a reason for his betrayal. She hadn't realized how complicated that simple question could be. The only one who might have known was AC, and she doubted he would discuss it. He'd been off for weeks, not that she was going to tell Ward that. Nope, whatever issues AC was having would stay with the team.

Taking a deep breath, Skye forced herself to begin going through the files. Anything and everything that even mentioned Ward was pulled. Even if he was a damn footnote, she pulled the file. Who knew what could help piece together the shattered pieces of Ward's past? The shrink's notes weren't digitized for the most part and the reports only sighted the conditions Ward was presenting. It would take a lot more than that for her to figure out what was going on.

Three hours later, however, Skye was still facing the same questions she had been when she started. All of the SHIELD files pretty much just praised Ward's field skills while admonishing his interpersonal ones. There were no signs of any kind of a psychological evaluation, despite the fact that medical had cited concerning marks on Ward's body. Specifically, they'd noted healed fractures and scars consistent with child abuse. Still, Skye could find no indication that SHIELD had pressed for information on the matter. There were no psychological examinations, no further testing, and no further remarks from medical outside of one document.

And none of that told Skye why Ward had betrayed them. None of that explained his comment about the woods or Garrett saving him from Juvie. Hell, she hadn't even found a Juvie record; not yet at least. That didn't mean it wasn't there of course, it just meant she hadn't found it during the initial search. And given she hadn't exactly been looking for a record (or suspected Ward had one; it was Grant freaking Ward, mister 'lives by the book' after all), it was probably still out there unless someone else deleted it. Garrett might have done that of course, or someone else in Hydra. But even if they had, there were other files. She would know; she'd cleared her own juvenile record before she escaped, just in case someone picked her up. Clearing those files could be a real pain, too. It definitely wasn't something just anyone could do.

Leaning back in her chair for a moment, Skye rubbed her eyes in an attempt to clear the heavy feeling from her lids. She should probably take a break from all of this, but somehow she couldn't. Not until she knew a little more. Just a little. Just another hour, then she'd take a break.

It sounded silly, even to her, but Skye couldn't stand the idea of walking away from the consoles without at least looking a _little_ more for the answers she wanted. Part of this was her natural determination to know the truth- she knew that. But there was another part too, one Skye was trying really hard to pretend didn't exist. It was the part of Skye that felt like walking away from this research, even for a few minutes, would be like walking away from Ward. Even though the two were in no way connected, even stepping away for a moment made Skye feel like she was turning her back, just a little, on her former SO. That was stupid of course. After everything he'd done to them, she shouldn't feel guilty about stepping away from digging into his past. But the little voice in her head that kept insisting Ward was just like her, that everyone had turned their back on him so he'd turned his back on everyone else first this time, wouldn't let up. So neither did Skye. She just fell back into her research, using some preliminary information about where Ward had been born to search for police or juvie records associated with his name. It was a long shot, but she was going to at least try.

"What are you doing that's got you so hard at work?" A voice cut through the room, startling Skye so badly she jumped out of her chair and spun to physically block her monitors from view. Crap. Crap, crap, crap. Who was in her sanctuary? If anyone on the team caught her looking into Ward's past, she wouldn't have a good explanation for why. She needed to make something up, now. Maybe, she was looking for who'd turned him? Some sign he'd turned others who might still be in SHIELD? Yeah, that could work.

"Skye? Is everything alright?" Her eyes shot down as the voice from before broke through her thoughts again. Beside her chair, the one she'd just vacated, was none other than Fitz. His calm, blue eyes blinked worriedly up at her, brow drawn into a sharp furrow. One of his hand's rested on the large wheel of his chair and the other wrapped around a thermos of coffee. A thermos he lifted in her direct a moment later. "I brought you some coffee. Thought it might help you work."

Immediately, Skye relaxed a little. Fitz, she should have guessed. He was a lot quieter than the others with his chair rather than heavy boots. It explained how she didn't hear him approaching. Reaching out, she took the thermos and set it aside, careful to continue blocking the monitors from view. "Thanks Fitz, I need this."

"So what are you working on?" asked Fitz curiously, attempting to catch a glimpse of the monitors. "Anything interesting?"

"Not really," dismissed Skye easily. "Just tracking some data for Coulson, you know how it goes."

Fitz nodded sagely, wheeling backwards a bit. "Right, well, if you need anything, just call."

"Thanks Fitz," thanked Skye, watching as the engineer rolled dejectedly from the room.

A pang of guilt echoed through Skye, so much so that she almost called him back. But she bit her tongue all the same. Chances were that Fitz wouldn't say a thing to Coulson or anyone else about Skye investigating Ward's past, but she didn't want to risk it either. Simmons could get anything out of Fitz and she would definitely go to Coulson, who would not only stop Skye's research but insist the hacker not visit Ward again. And that? That wasn't an option. Skye had already decided she would go back (hell, Ward's shrink though it was a good idea), but this time she wasn't going to go back empty handed.

"What is all that?" asked Ward as Skye stepped in front of his cell. She could hear her former SO as he stood up and she peered around the stack of books in her arms to grin at him.

"Books," replied Skye with the best shrug she could manage given her over-loaded arms. She dropped the books haphazardly in front of Ward's cell, right up against the bars, and turned to fully face her SO. "Thought you'd recognize them given how much you love to read."

Ward's exasperated look told her that wasn't what he meant. Of course, she knew that. She was intentionally trying to push his buttons, just like she had before. He seemed calmer today, less callus and angry, more like the calm man she knew before. "I meant _why_ are you carrying a large stack of books through a _prison_."

Okay, there was the touch of anger she'd been expecting. If he really thought being a little short with her would drive her off though, he had another thing coming. Then again, he might actually _remember_ she was persistent as hell. His anger didn't scare her; he'd sworn once he wouldn't hurt her and, despite everything, he'd never actually done anything to hurt her. Even when she was pressing his buttons.

Shrugging again, she dropped down to sit, cross legged, in front of Ward's cell and slipped the backpack from her back. "I told AC I was going somewhere quiet to study."

"So you come to a prison?" stated Ward in semi-disbelief, shaking his head as he dropped back onto his cot. "You are insane."

"And you are basically in solitary," pointed out Skye as she pulled out a large binder and a notebook. "I can't think of a better, quieter place to study."

"A library might work," suggested Ward dryly, his irritation at her invasion becoming more apparent. Still, he dropped back to lay on his cot, staring at the ceiling. Skye just shrugged as she cracked open one of the books and began to skim the page while jotting down notes.

The quiet lasted about twenty minutes before Skye let out an unhappy groan. "Ugh, I hate these stupid reading comprehension questions. Why do we care what the bird represents? Why can't it just be a bird?"

From his cot, Ward let out a grunt. For a moment, the only sound was that of Skye grumbling as she struggled with the English portion of her studies before Ward's voice suddenly cut through the room. "Because it changes the meaning of the story."

Skye contorted herself to glance at the man on the cot, though he didn't even glance at her. "What?"

"The bird," elaborated Ward, eyes locked on his ceiling. "What it represents matters because it changes the meaning of the story."

"What do you mean?" asked Skye, turning her full attention to Ward as she leaned forward against the cell bars. Her eyes watched her former SO's face, looking for some sign that could tell her was was going through his head. She definitely wasn't a mind reader though and Ward was as impassive as always.

Sighing, Ward closed his eyes and folded his arms under his head as he spoke. "Like...freedom. A bird in a cage can represent someone trapped in a situation. When the bird is let go, it's free. If the story is about a bird being kept by a...a soldier because he saved the bird from a horrible fate, it's a story about human compassion. About someone saving another life. And if the bird represents, say, a kid the soldier always wanted but never had, that changes the context more."

Slowly, Skye nodded, unable to avoid the blatant parallels between Ward's current situation and that of the metaphorical 'bird' they were discussing. It didn't take an English genius to see he was projecting. "Okay, so a bird being held forcefully in a cage. That would change the meaning of the bird?"

"Not necessarily," sighed Ward, finally opening his eyes and rolling his head to glance back at her. "It depends on why the bird is in the cage to begin with. If the bird was injured and cared for, but wants to leave now that it's better and isn't allowed to, that bird could represent sought-after freedom. But if the bird is allowing itself to be held because it has nowhere else to go and doesn't know what to do without it's new caregiver, then the story changes again."

"Okay, I get that," dismissed Skye with a shake of her head. "But how does that change the story?"

"It determines if the man holding the bird is a caregiver or a prison-keeper," explained Ward, his solemn eyes meeting Skye's as he spoke.

Idly, Skye wondered if Ward was aware he was talking about himself: that he was empathizing with the bird in this unwritten story; wondered if Garrett was a caretaker or a prison-keeper in his mind. She knew who she thought Garrett was, but it was hard to guess with Ward. And right now, she didn't want to ask. After his clear show of rage during her previous visit, she just wanted to try to keep him calm. Clearly, Garrett is something he doesn't want to talk about. At least, not directly.

"I think it depends on the perspective of the bird," replied Skye carefully, not pushing, just speaking in calm, neutral tones that would (hopefully) keep Ward just as calm. "We never hear his perspective."

"Because the bird's perspective doesn't matter," dismissed Ward, tone just a touch bitter as his eyes returned to his ceiling. "The bird just does what it's told."

"Maybe that's because no one's ever bothered to ask the bird what he wants," suggested Skye softly, eyes never leaving Ward's reclined form. Part of her wanted to crawl up and curl beside him, but she knew it would be unwanted attention even if she could get into his cell.

Ward remained completely silent for a long moment, her words echoing soundlessly through the space. It was a question he was probably never asked and One he might not even know the answer to. After a minute or two though, he shot restlessly off his cot and pushed himself into a standing position. The violent energy that surrounded him last time he started punching the walls flared up like a wildfire in a dry forest. Almost violently, he shoved a hand through his hair with a faint growl. "The bird doesn't know what it wants."

Skye felt the wind leave her lungs as if she'd been physically punched. Those words were perhaps the most honest thing she'd ever heard Ward say, and it _hurt_ to know he felt that way. Physically hurt in a way she'd only experienced a handful of times. That one statement, so simple, summarized everything the files she'd spent the past week pouring over had told her: that Ward never had a choice. That he'd never been given a chance to learn who he was as a person. He'd never been himself once in his life.

Without thinking about it, Skye reached into the cell, offering her hand to Ward. Yeah, it probably wasn't smart, but she couldn't stand the look on his face. No matter what had happened before, he was free to be himself now. And he didn't have to face that alone. "Then it's a good thing the bird has friends who are willing to help him figure it out."

Silently, Ward turned to stare at her hand for a moment before turning back to his cot and dropping heavily onto it. His head dropped forward, fist tightening and relaxing in a visual show of his frustration. Skye knew what it felt like to be powerless, to not know why, but she couldn't even begin to understand what it was like not to know what you wanted.

Withdrawing her hand (because Ward clearly didn't want to take it), Skye turned back to her books. Again, they fell into silence for nearly ten minutes, broken only by Skye's irritated grumbling and complaints. Her focus became so drawn into her practice exams that she didn't even hear Ward move until his voice came from right near her head. "What are you studying for, anyway?"

Glancing back, she nearly jumped a little when she realized his back was against the bars right beside her own, simply on the opposite side of the barrier Shifting around so she could look at him, Skye passed the book to him through the bars of his cell. "I'm studying for my GED."

Ward glanced at the book, scowling a touch bitterly at the bound tome. "You aren't supposed to pass the prisoners things."

"Yeah, and I'm not supposed to reach inside the cells or lean on the bars either," pointed out Skye dismissively. "I'm not afraid of you."

A dry laugh rose from Ward's throat, scoffing and bitter. "You should be, though. Monsters eat people like you."

Skye just shrugged a bit, carefully reaching through the bars to gently press her fingers to Ward's arm. He jumped at the contact, scooting a bit back but otherwise making no threatening motion towards her. "Except _you_ promised once you wouldn't hurt me. And even when I was hitting and punching you, you kept that promise. You've done _nothing_ to indicate you weren't being truthful, so until you prove me wrong, I'm not gonna worry about you eating me." She bit her lip to keep the rest of that sentence from coming out. It wouldn't exactly be appropriate to make a joke about him eating her, after all. Well, right now it wouldn't.

Apparently he could see the joke on her face though, because he rolled his eyes a little like he did when she was being exasperating and carefully leaned back against the bars again. But he left her fingers where they were, not bothering to dislodge the digits. "Does your mind live in the gutter?"

"Pretty much," admitted Skye with a shrug, shifting so her shoulder was leaning on the bars and she could glance at the book as well. "You should know that by now."

"Trust me, I do," assured Ward with a sigh, flipping the book open. "Your jokes made it really, really hard to train you."

"How?" asked Skye in surprise. He'd always seemed exasperated by her jokes but he'd never done anything that made her think it somehow made his job harder.

"Because every time you made one, I wanted to make a joke back," explained Ward, eyes turned down at the pages. "I'm not as tightly wound as I pretended to be and it was really hard to remain detached." A touch of what looked like a blush began to spread on his cheeks a bit. "And training isn't exactly a hands-off experience..."

Oh. Well, that explained a hell of a lot. Suddenly, Ward's clear discomfort in the face of her blatantly inappropriate jokes made a lot more sense. Now she felt a little bad, except not really because if he hadn't been lying to them that whole time, it wouldn't have been an issue. "So, basically, you got pissed every time I made a joke because you wanted to actually act like a human?"

Ward's only response was to shift and flip through the book she'd handed him. For a very long time, he was silent as he skimmed the text, eyes darting around the page. It was weird to see him so calm when he'd been so pissed off before. There was a tick in his jaw though that indicated his anger maybe wasn't as far beneath the surface as he was making it seem. Silently, Skye wondered if he was imagining what it would be like to actually take the GED himself, rather than having Garrett fake the results.

"This isn't bad, you'll do fine." Ward's dismissive comment snapped Skye out of her thoughts to find her book being held out in front of her face. He didn't look surprised that she had zoned out though as he patiently held the bound guide out to her.

She took the book back, dropping it into the pile beside her with an unhappy sigh. Yeah, sure she'd do well. If she got really, really lucky and they gave her a really easy test. "Wish I had your optimism."

"Skye, look at me." It was a quiet request, one that caught Skye completely by surprise. So much so she did as he asked without question. Which she really, really shouldn't be doing. He wasn't her SO anymore and she didn't need to do what he said without thought. Even if that had kept her alive in the field. More than once.

Leveling his gaze at her, Ward held her eyes with his own as he spoke. "You'll do fine, Skye. You're smart." She could hear that edge of bitterness that had leaked into his voice before, except now it was void of the anger he'd expressed before. "You'll pass this thing if you want to."

"You could do it too," pointed out Skye without thinking. The words were barely out of her mouth and she was already cursing bringing this up again. The guards had made it clear that she couldn't keep making Ward mad, otherwise they'd have to bar her from visiting (though his shrink said there was no way in hell that would actually happen; apparently, the anger was both expected and considered good).

"Skye," growled Ward lowly, pushing away from the bars of his cell almost immediately. He practically prowled across the small space to his cot, flopping down like he had the day before. "I already told you that was ancient history."

"I'm not talking about then, Ward," argued back Skye, rising to her knees in an attempt to see his face. "I'm talking about now. Screw what happened before, it doesn't matter. You have that option now."

For a long moment, silence hung between them. It was a silence that made Skye itch. She'd never done well with quiet before and she really didn't handle it well when one of the people involved in said silence might be having some kind of weird mental crisis.

It was a minute longer before his words broke the silence. "No, I don't. Garrett never gave me a choice. I don't have one now, either."

Frustration welled up inside of Skye, but she forced it down again. Ward had been brainwashed or, well, he was suffering from _some_ kind of kidnapping-induced attachment issues. Everyone knew that by now. If Skye wanted to get through to him, she needed to be patient. "Why not?"

His eyes finally turned back towards her, brow furrowing in what looked like frustration. It colored his words when he spoke. "'Why not' what?"

"Why don't you have a choice now," repeated Skye, her eyes meeting his frustration with confusion. "Garrett isn't here. He's not making the calls anymore. The only person who can make these decisions anymore is you."

Fear ghosted over Ward's features like a tidal wave. It was so strong, even Skye felt momentarily terrified. So much so that she actually checked her surroundings to make sure Ward hadn't seen something she hadn't. But the hall was empty like always, Ward's cell still the only occupied space in the hall. It was something she'd just said that terrified him then. And she'd bet money she knew what. The problem was, she had no clue how to ease his fears. How do you convince someone who's afraid to make their own decisions to actually _make_ their own decisions?

"Garrett didn't give me a choice," repeated Ward at last, his words practically choked by the fear she could see on his features. "He didn't think I was good enough to take the test. If he didn't think I could do it then, I can't do it now."

Again, Skye felt her stomach twist violently at his words. It was so sharp, she nearly threw up on the spot. "That's not true, Grant. You're so smart- smarter than I am. You could take this test and ace it. And anything you think you can't do, you can learn. I've seen you-"

"I said no!" shouted Ward, the anger simmering beneath the surface exploding forward in a single, sharp exclamation. But unlike the last time when he'd began punching walls, Ward pulled his pillow over his head and held it over his ears like the thin cotton would somehow block out her words.

It was such a childish thing to do, Skye actually questioned if any of the last five minutes was real or if she'd fallen asleep in the prison hallway. Except Ward was curled up like a child and it didn't take a psychologist to realize Ward was reacting in a way he knew. How he hadn't reacted like this before, Skye wasn't sure but she was willing to bet it was related to Garrett. At least he wasn't punching things this time. His shout hadn't brought the guards running this time either.

Falling backwards so she was resting on her ass rather than the balls of her feet, Skye crossed her ankles in front of her and just waited for Ward to sit up again. Trying to talk to him wasn't going to help, but she'd never been good at waiting either. So she picked up her study book again and tried to focus on the words on the page rather than the man curled up on the cot, tension thrumming through her body as she waited for him to say something: anything. Waited to hear any sound that would indicate he was up and moving around behind her.

When the guards showed up at 3:45 to tell her visiting hours were almost over, Ward still hadn't moved from where he was curled on her cot. Skye actually wondered if he'd killed himself somehow, but a quick glance revealed he was just asleep. Her heart broke a little as she noticed the way his body was tense and his head was still burrowed between the pillow. Ward was no child, but it was the only comparison Skye could come up with. This man had spent his whole life being abused, being told what to do. She had evidence of that on her computers at the Playground. And now, when he had the chance to break that cycle, he was burying his head (literally) in an attempt to get away.

Sighing, she gathered her things quietly, pausing only to slip a copy of her GED prep book into the cell (after letting one of the guards flip through it first of course; he scoffed but handed the volume back to her all the same). Honestly, she expected it to be gone when she came back. But if it just put the idea in Ward's head, just as a reminder that he had a choice, then maybe it would help. Maybe, just maybe, it would start helping him break out of this state. Hell, even if he said no (not 'I can't' but 'I don't want to'), it would be his choice. And that was what she wanted: for Ward to make the choice. Not her, not Garrett: Ward. It needed to be his choice. Besides, the idea he had a choice, that was the most important thing. Once that sank in, he could began to take back his life and heal.


	3. Chapter 3

-Chapter 3-

A week later, when Skye returned, a guard stopped her at the gate. She tried to show him the badge she'd been given by the prison warden, but he still wouldn't let her in or tell her why she couldn't go in. Instead, he delayed her until a second guard showed up and escorted her inside. Only this guard didn't take her to Ward's cell or even the prison waiting area. Instead, he guided her into the offices at the prison, finally depositing her in Ward's shrink's office.

Dr. Calgrove was a very unassuming man, relaxed and calm. He was younger than Skye would have expected, but he was significantly more skilled than he looked. Between his full head of blond hair, sharp green eyes, and welcoming face definitely didn't belong in a prison, but he was there all the same with the hope of doing some good. At least, that was the excuse he'd given Skye.

"Skye, please, take a seat," greeted Calgrove, his mouth set in a firm line that had Skye half bolting for his desk. Fear gripped her chest like a vice as every bad thing that could have happened to Ward ran through her head. That was the only reason she'd be called in here, too. Something bad had to have happened to Ward.

"Don't bullshit me, what happened to him," demanded Skye leaning on Calgrove's desk rather than sitting down. She didn't do well at holding still when she was worried and her worry was spiking through the roof.

Calgrove raised an eyebrow but didn't deny her accusations or repeat his request for her to sit down. Instead, he stood up as well and came around to lean against his desk beside where she was standing. "Ward is alright physically."

"Physically," repeated Skye, relaxing a little bit. If he was alright physically, at least that meant he hadn't been assaulted. She knew his psychological issues ran deep though, and if he'd had some kind of psychological break, it could be worse than if he had been beaten. "Then what happened."

Calgrove grimaced then turned his monitor around to reveal a paused bit of surveillance video. Skye could just make out Ward on the grainy tape through the bars of his cell. It didn't look right though. A few of the books that had been so neatly stacked before were laying outside his cell and the sheets on his cot, normally made up with military precision, were rumpled like someone had violently pulled them from the mattress.

The shrink didn't say a word to explain the video, just hit play and let the video do the talking for him.

Screaming filled the office as the video began to play, so loud and anguished that Skye nearly had to cover her ears. Inside the cell, Ward was throwing things, punching the walls, everything. It was like watching a man possessed. There was nothing intelligible in what Ward was screaming; it was little more than grief-ridden shouts and moans. They watched in silence as he picked up book after book and other assorted items inside his cell and just threw them around, even going so far as to up-end his cot at one point. The destruction was intense and all encompassing; it also continued until guards swarmed the cell, throwing a canister inside the cell with Ward. The sound of tearing and breaking objects, now interspersed with coughing, ceased a moment later. Then the guards were opening the door and pulling Ward from inside. They loaded him onto a gurney and in minutes he was being taking away. Calgrove froze the video as soon as Ward was out of frame, turning his focus back on Skye.

She just stood there, staring at the frozen screen as she tried to process what she'd just seen. Ward, calm, cool, collected Ward, had just thrown what amounted to a temper tantrum and trashed his cell. If it was in grief or rage she wasn't sure, but based on the noise he'd been making, she'd bet on grief. "Where is he?"

"In observation," replied Calgrove with a sigh, leaning forward a little. "We took him off the sedation a little while ago, but he hasn't woken up yet and won't for some time. What I want to know is what caused this."

"I'd like to know, too," muttered Skye, eyes still locked on the screen as the haunting echoes of his screams rang in her ears.

For a long moment, Calgrove said nothing. All he did was watch Skye (she could feel his eyes on her). Then, he opened his desk and pulled out two objects, which he lay on his desk. "These tell me that you might already know."

Skye slowly pulled her eyes away from the TV, dropping them to look down at the two items laid out in front of her. One was her GED book, the one she'd left with Ward the last time she was at the prison. The other was a photograph of her that she'd never seen before. It had been taken while she was in the lounge with one of SHIELD's many manuals in her lap; her eyes were focused down on the page, her legs curled up to hold the book. There was nothing sexy or appealing about the photo, it was just a normal, everyday photo. And yet, for some reason, Ward had taken and kept it.

"This book is yours, I'm assuming," remarked Calgrove, tapping the GED book. His finger moved then to tap the photograph. "And this photo is of you. You are the common denominator in this equation."

"I don't know why," stated Skye, shaking her head as she turned away from both objects and shoved a hand into her hair. "He sounded upset. Maybe he got frustrated or..." Her words trailed off as a thought suddenly struck. Almost immediately, she spun to look at the screen again, then at Calgrove. "Has he done anything like this since he got here? Shown any kind of emotion?"

"Before you began visiting, he was basically a mute statue," replied Calgrove with a shrug. "His emotional reaction to you, even if it was out of anger, was one of the reasons I wanted you to come back. He was very controlled with everyone else and he's isolated from other inmates because of his traitor status, so his social interaction was restricted to the guards." One of Calgrove's eyebrows rose in clear interest. "Why?"

Skye bit her lip silently as she stared at the screen, debating how much to reveal to the man in front of her. She didn't want to tell him everything (she didn't trust him at this point, period), but Ward also wasn't going to be giving anything up either. And there were a few things it might help if Calgrove was at least aware of.

Sighing, she leaned on the edge of the desk and picked up the photo Ward had been keeping of her. "He lost his...mentor the day he was arrested. When they lead him out, he was pretty steely. But..."

"But," encouraged Calgrove, what had to be his interested shrink face directed at her. It was creepy, but Skye forced herself to continue all the same.

"But, he never really reacted to it," explained Skye with a shrug. "At least, never that I saw. And last time I was here, the subjects we were discussing involved his mentor."

Another long moment of silence passed as Calgrove absorbed what Skye had said. His fingers tapped lightly against the desk, head nodding slightly with his thoughts. When he did finally break stance, his eyes fell on Skye. "You think he's mourning the death of his mentor."

"Yes," confirmed Skye quietly, her mind already racing ahead to what that might mean. She wasn't an expert spy, but she'd been around long enough to know something about people. And she knew from personal experience what it felt like to want to destroy everything when stuff finally hit. She'd had her own destructive bouts o' rage. And the key targets had always been things she associated with the person she'd lost. "Can I see his cell?"

Calgrove looked a little reluctant but nodded all the same. "I thought you'd want to see him."

"I do," confirmed Skye quietly, picking up the photograph from Calgrove's desk and pocketing it. He didn't say a word about it. "But I want to see his cell first. I have a theory."

The raised eyebrow was back. "Care to share?"

"Not until I'm sure," replied Skye, turning back towards the door to the office. She liked Calgrove, really, she did. But she never trusted anyone who could bring themselves to think they know more about her brain than she does. And that goes double for anyone dealing with Ward. If she was right about what she suspected, then maybe (maybe) she'd tell him.

She paused by the door, shooting Calgrove an expectant look. He resisted for all of a minute before he was up and following her to the door. It was her turn to trail behind him as they headed through some hallways she hadn't used before and out into the prisoner areas. It was quieter than she expected until she realized they were in the observation wing. Part of her wondered if Calgrove was just leading her to where Ward currently was being held (she thought she might have even spotted his cell on the way through), but they never stopped at any of the many rooms. Instead, they went through the observation wing and into a split hallway. Calgrove sharply turned to the left, Skye trailing behind as they went through another door and stepped into the cell block where Ward had been housed.

His cell stood alone and open, as it had all other times. The three cells directly across from it and two to either side were empty as they had been before. In fact, it looked just as it had every time Skye had visited before, with one exception.

Ward's cell was completely trashed.

It was even worse than it had looked in the video. What had before looked like a simply torn bed was clearly trashed. The sheets were torn from where they'd been ripped clean of the mattress and the mattress itself had actually been upended. His precious books were scattered around the room, pages ripped clean from the spine and scattered around like flecks of snow. The rest of his things were thrown, but it mostly looked like collateral damage.

Stepping into the cell silently, Skye carefully picked her way among the wreckage in search of something, anything, that could support her theory. The two objects that Calgrove had presented her with were undamaged, so her suspicions were already at least partially supported. But she really needed to look at the rest of Ward's books to confirm what she was thinking. Namely, that Ward had intentionally attempted to destroy anything that was connected with Garrett. And given he didn't have any photos of his former SO, the books he'd been assigned would have to work as surrogates.

And it was the books that were really trashed.

Like Skye had suspected, the titles she remembered Ward talking about Garrett assigning him looked to be the most damaged. One just fell completely apart as she picked it up, the pages tumbling free like someone had swung it around violently by the cover or paper rather than the spine. Another had been nearly torn in half. Some of the pages couldn't even be read, they were so trashed. Yeah,Ward had definitely been targeting things he associated with Garrett. It didn't explain why he suddenly turned into a Tasmanian devil, but at least now she knew the source.

"Care to share yet?" asked Calgrove, his voice cutting through her thoughts and almost making her jump out of her skin. Almost. She really needed to not forget he was there.

Turning to the psychologist, she offered him a shrug and pushed her hands into her pockets. "He targeted stuff related to his SO." There was more of course; her conversation with Ward about Garrett's abuse and the GED could have pushed him over the edge. It could have opened a rift he couldn't close and ultimately caused him to destroy his room. But again, she didn't want to talk to Calgrove about it yet. Not before she spoke with Ward.

"So his breakdown was related to John Garrett then," stated Calgrove, curiosity in his tone. "I must say, you just told me more than he has in the past month. But I'm guessing there's more there you aren't sharing."

"I want to talk with Ward," requested Skye, though it's more commanding than requesting.

If that bothered Calgrove though, he didn't let it show. "He's in psych for observation."

Turning away from the cell, Calgrove motioned for her to follow again. And follow she did, back through the winding halls and caverns of the prison towards the observation wing they'd been in earlier. Sure enough, they come to a stop at one of the rooms, which Calgrove opens before motioning for Skye to enter.

About 12 beds rest inside the observation room, winged by heart monitors and IV stands. It would look like any hospital room, with the exception of the lock on the door and the fact that there's handcuffs on the beds. Ward is cuffed to the second cot on the left, sprawled across it like someone had dumped him there haphazardly. His prison uniform torn and damaged in places and a bit of blood stained the cloth. If it was his own doing or the result of the scuffle with the guards, she wasn't sure. He didn't look any worse for wear though.

Without thinking much about it, Skye sat on the edge of the cot and took Ward's closest hand. The calluses of his fingers were familiar against her palm, soothing in a way that reminded her what it felt like to be safe with him. Of course, he's not someone she's supposedly safe with anymore, but that remained to be seen all the same. There was more to this story than she knew- a lot more. And she wasn't about to let it go either. The truth was the truth and it was all she'd cared about for the longest time. This time was no exception.

Fingers tightened around her hand, drawing Skye's attention to the man sleeping beside her. It had been almost an hour since she'd entered the prison hospital. Calgrove had been polite enough to bring her the GED book she'd left for Ward, so at least she was able to study while she waited. It was balanced on her lap now, flipped open to a page on critical reading.

Still, her eyes trailed away from the page for a moment to check on Ward where he lay. His eyes were shut and his body otherwise still though, breathing even as he slept on. He'd tightened his grip on her fingers a few times over the past hour, body tensing and twitching in his artificial sleep. She didn't really want to think too much about what he could be dreaming about; it was too depressing. Convinced he was still asleep, she turned back to her book and attempted to focus.

Not that she'd been able to at any point since she entered the room; her mind was too busy wondering what would happen when he woke up. He wouldn't be happy, that was for sure. She was just hoping he didn't flip out still. Though she'd never support drugging him, she recognized that it was the only option they'd really had to stop him. Otherwise he might have hurt himself and that would have been worse.

"You really need to learn where the library is."

Ward's voice had Skye's attention snapping towards him immediately. His brown orbs blinked at her groggily, but he seemed lucid enough to understand what she was doing. The fingers around her own hadn't let go yet though.

Offering him a gentle smile, she set the book aside and leaned forward. "Libraries suck. They're always telling you to be quiet and everyone is so silent. It's disturbing."

"Only for you," stated Ward as he tried to sit up. The cuff caught his wrist though, pulling him back down again. He blinked hard, like his mind was struggling to process what had just happened. Skye was quick to shift so she was sitting on the bed rather than beside it, laying a hand against his shoulder to keep him down. "Hey, let's just stay down for a bit, okay? They kinda had to drug you."

"What?" asked Ward, blinking up at her in confusion. His free hand rose to rub his eyes, like he was trying to clear his vision. "They drugged me?"

"Yeah," confirmed Skye softly, concerned. One of her hands rose to brush against his hair and cheek. It was the first chance she'd had to touch him since she started visiting the prison. "Do you remember what happened?"

"I-" Ward paused, eyes closing again as his words tapered off. "I was in my cell."

"Yeah," confirmed Skye, fingers lacing with his gently. Calgrove had warned her the drugs might impact his memory a little. He didn't seem to think it would be permanent though. "You remember what you were doing?"

"Thinking," replied Ward quietly, eyes opening again to focus on the ceiling. "I was thinking about Garrett and I was holding your GED book." He took a deep breath, hand tightening around hers a little bit more. "I was so mad..."

Skye waited patiently for him to say something else- anything. She'd settle for anything else. But he didn't say a word or offer a further explanation. Not that he really needed to, Skye could put it together. The thing was, it didn't do Ward any good if she implied what had happened and didn't force him to discuss it. Or at least admit what happened. She needed to try and prompt him to speak, at least a little. "Why?"

"I don't know," stated Ward. There was an odd quality to his voice though- a touch of surprise mixed with despair and self-doubt.

"You can't remember why you were mad?" asked Skye gently, her free hand reaching out to carefully touch his hair. She couldn't be sure how he'd react when she touched him; all she could hope was that he didn't react violently.

Ward flinched slightly as her fingers touched his hair, but his face turned towards her hand before she could pull back. It was a conflicted response if she ever saw one. Still, she didn't move her hand, just left it against his hair.

"I was mad because..." Again, Ward's words trailed off, his eyes closing. Skye wasn't sure if it was the drugs or something else, but she remained silent (barely) all the same. Calgrove said he'd be groggy; prompting him wouldn't help that.

Silence filled the room for several minutes; it took Ward so long to answer, Skye thought he'd fallen asleep again. "I was mad because John- because Garrett lied to me. He used me, lied to me." Anger tinged his words; anger and pain.

Without thinking about it, Skye began to brush her fingers against Ward's hair. It seemed to help settle him a little bit. He turned further into her hand, a noise Skye hadn't heard before escaping his throat. It almost sounded like a whimper. "He's not here anymore, Ward. He can't do anything to you."

"He lied to me," repeated Ward, his voice more distressed than angry. Slowly, his eyes opened again, head turning to meet Skye's gaze. Any thoughts she had that he might not still be drugged up went out the window as she stared into his eyes. Raw pain, sadness, and confusion stared back. It was like looking into the eyes of a puppy who'd been kicked and didn't understand why. "He said he'd make sure no one messed with me ever again, but that wasn't true. He messed with me. No matter how good I got, he always told me what to do. He controlled me."

"Ward," murmured Skye softly, the fingers still interwoven with his tightening slightly. "Garrett is gone. He can't do anything to you anymore."

"But I don't want him to be gone," whispered Ward, blinking at her sadly. "He gave me purpose. Gave me a direction. I need that, Skye. I don't know what to do. He went crazy and abandoned me like everyone does and now I don't know what to do."

Horror slithered down Skye's spine, but she was careful to keep it off her face. Ward missed Garrett; it just spoke volumes about how badly Garrett had worked Ward over. Even if Ward wasn't fully in his right mind right now, it was disturbing to hear.

"He was like a dad, Skye," continued Ward, staring up at her with those lost eyes. "He was the closest thing to a dad I ever had, and he went crazy on me."

"You'll be alright, Ward," assured Skye gently, trying to offer him something else to work with. Anything was better than what he was going to now. Nothing she'd seen revealed just how bad the abuse must have been. "You're more than capable of finding your own way now."

"But I don't know where to start," muttered Ward, eyes finally leaving her to stare back up at the ceiling. "I don't know where to start. I just don't know."

"It'll be okay," repeated Skye softly, running her fingers though his hair gently. "You'll be okay, Ward."

Somehow, she'd make sure he was. She'd seen plenty of kids from abusive homes when she'd been a kid and at the time she'd believed every single one of them deserved to get better. That hadn't changed. She'd seen first hand how damaging abuse could be and the kind Ward had suffered through bordered on Stockholm Syndrome. He'd done things that still made her stomach churn. He'd almost killed Fitz and Simmons, he had killed who knew how many others. But there were other circumstances too, and those changed things. It was one thing to kill someone because you wanted to; it was another to kill someone because your abuser ordered you to or drilled it into your head that you needed to. He'd been with Garrett at the Fridge, he'd been with Garrett on the plane when he'd dumped Fitz and Simmons. And at least in the case of Fitz and Simmons, Garrett had ordered Ward to kill them. And if her Stockholm theory was in any way correct, the fact that Fitz and Simmons weren't dead from bullets to the head (a sure-fire death versus being dropped out of the plane in a pod) was a damn miracle.

"It'll be okay, Ward," stated Skye softly again, watching as he closed his eyes once more.

It felt like she needed to say more, but the sound of the door opening behind her said her time was up. Calgrove had made it pretty clear he could only let her in the room until the standard visiting hours were up. As things stood, it was thirty minutes past since standard visiting hours ended, but Skye suspected that was because Calgrove wanted her there when Ward woke up. Clearly, the man thought she had some power she didn't.

Glancing back, she noticed Calgrove standing in the doorway. There weren't any guards with him, but she couldn't imagine they were far behind. And when the guards showed up, she would definitely have to leave.

Turning back to Ward, Skye flipped her GED book to the end and fished the small photograph Calgrove had dug out of Wards cell from between the pages. She couldn't leave the book behind this time (there was no way Calgrove would let her), but the photo was Ward's as far as she was concerned. And who knew, maybe it helped him somehow to have that photo; she couldn't think of any other reason why he'd keep it after what went down.

Releasing his hand, she brushed his cheek with her now-free fingers to catch his attention. Those soft brown orbs slipped open to meet her own almost immediately, concern replacing the fear and confusion of before. She could tell he knew just from a glance she had to leave and his eyes begged her not to. Part of her wanted to stay and watch over him, but she knew it wasn't possible. The prison wouldn't let her and she had to play by their rules if she wanted to keep coming back.

So she held out the photo to him, waving the paper it was printed on just a bit to make sure he saw it. Almost immediately, his eyes locked on the slip of paper. His fingers were tugging it out of her grasp a second later, focus on the picture and not Skye for half a second. Then his eyes turned back onto her and confusion again flashed over his features. Still, he didn't ask why either. "Thank you."

Offering him a tight smile, Skye carefully stood up, taking his hand when it reflexively reached for her. "Ward, I have to go now. The prison won't let me stay. But I'll be back soon to visit and Calgrove has my number; if you need me, you can ask Calgrove and he'll let you call me. Okay?"

Ward's eyes fell back to the picture, his grip remaining tight around her hand. "Are you going to leave me, too?"

That was the drugs talking and Skye knew it. The Grant Ward she knew didn't need anyone and the next time she visited, he'd probably be back to acting like her presence was a disturbance. But right in this moment, he was more of a scared, lost child than a strong man and all he needed to hear was that someone was going to come back to him.

"No, I'll be back like I said," assured Skye softly. Her fingers curled against his, squeezing once before letting go. "I promise, I'll be back as soon as I can be. Okay?"

Ward nods rather than offering a verbal answer, which Skye thinks is probably good given the guards step into the room not a second later and Calgrove has been watching them since he came into the room. Turning away from Ward, Skye approaches the guards who pretty much push her out of the room and towards the exit. She doesn't argue though, because she wants to keep her promise to Ward. And getting thrown out of the prison definitely won't help.


End file.
